Focusing on My Final Observation

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I haven't posted a reading in over a week because I was having personal life problems. But now I am back and able to focus on something else, for a change. I decided to ask the cards how next week will go with my *final* observation and what I should focus on. This observation determines; foregoing any possible budget cuts, that is; whether or not I am recommended for rehire and therefore tenure at my school. I am a bit nervous as 1) I do not know exactly when the Principal is coming in, only that it is "next week" sometime and 2) The last time I had a *final* observation it went horribly bad, as the Principal at the time (different county, different school) used it as an excuse to try to get rid of me so that she could put one of her friends in my position. [Off reading, I eventually was forced to resign the position and the said friend was in my classroom less than an hour later, as if waiting in the wings. The said Principal was fired soon after I resigned.]

But once something like this happend it has a tendency to sour ones opinion of a profession, which is difficult to get over, to say the least. I still harbor ill-feelings, not towards any people, but towards the job in general and the type of people that education is rife with. My Da'ath pack cards were simply two: 10 of Swords and Ace of Coins (not shown). These cards represent the distant past and the background for the situation. They sum up exactly what my feelings are, about describing my usual jitteriness concerning trust issues surrounding administration. This is compounded by the fact that one of the county bigwig's nephew will be hunting for a teaching job, having just come out of college. My first thought was, "I wonder who is going to be pushed out for this guy to get a job." He already has a cush, teaching assistant job beginning next week. This at a time when we are having a 23 million dollar shortfall in our budget next year and a few heads on the chopping block. Gotta love that nepotism.

I used no position meanings this time.

One thing that I have gotten major brownie points for in past observations is the "loving atmosphere" that she has picked up on in the past. Almost every time, she has commented on this aspect of my teaching. 10 of Chalices reminds me that I better not lose sight of this! This week I have my students on "silence" they have been so out of control. Obviously next week I can't do this. They will be so sick of doing seat work by next week they will be more than happy to behave. They tend to get along better, like the happy family in the 10 of Chalices, when they are being watched. This card contrasts sharply with the 10 of Swords of the past, which still lies close to my hard (and directly to the right and next to my Significator, by the way). Certainly this is a comfort card for me, in my moment of insecurity.

2 of Chalices represents a meeting of the minds here, and is reminiscent of harmony, of course. What I am doing now is promoting the feeling of harmony in the classroom but forcing my students to work quietly. This just ensures that there the culture of learning, which I know is present, surfaces and is immediately apparent during the observation. Part of the problem I have had recently is an influx of new students. (I have had a total of four new students in the space of three months, one of whom was only in my class for four days.) This change had tipped the balance of the class and unfortunately I had to take drastic measures to restore this balance. This card tells me that what I am doing now will be beneficial in the long run. The neighboring teacher is doing the same thing because she is having identical issues (and she is being observed, as well). She calls it the "Come to Jesus" speech.

XII Hanged Man shows that I still have a bit of nervousness obviously. Again, experiencing abuse of power at the hands of administration has a longterm effect on the mind. What happened to me happened almost five years ago and I am still angry about it (not at any one person but an overall or general mistrust, as you can imagine). The shadow card is III Empress, of course (1 + 2 = 3). The Empress is a card that I normally associate with this particular administration, as she is very understanding and supportive and nurturing, very unusual for a person in her position. The fact that she surfaces as XII Hanged Man has more to do with my perception, in that this can be seen as The Empress turned upside down, than with the actual situation. Since it is the only Major in the throw, it has even more importance. It is my "yoga" card. And I need to meditate and calm myself down going into next week.

3 of Wands is the future. It shows me watching as my ship finally comes in. I take this as a good augury that everything will go well. The frog stands at the shore in all his fine robes, on top of the world, as it were. This card not only rounds the reading off well, it has an asepct of the XII Hanged Man (1 + 2 = 3) and XXI World (2 + 1 = 3). It seems perhaps that all's well that end's well. It has certainly been a long three year journey to receive finally as well deserved tenure position.

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